I tried making my family eat a plant-based diet for a week. It didn’t go well

Seven days with only veges and fake meat on the menu. How hard could it be for a carnivorous family of four?

My wife screwed up her face. My daughter took the tiniest microbite, made the same face as her mother and spat it out. My son refused to touch it. I chewed slowly, mouth open, trying not to break any fillings, aghast at the culinary horror I had attempted to feed my family, regretting every decision that had led me here.

The packet of fake bacon ripped open half an hour earlier promised so much. “Extra crispy and smoky,” it declared. “Savour this guilt-free pleasure.” I fried it and added it to plates of toast and poached eggs. Rippled with pink and white streaks, it was obviously fake but aptly mimicked bacon’s layers of salted and dried pork belly.

But there was no savouring this tofu bacon. I’ll refrain from naming the brand, because I’m sure they tried their best, but the experience was akin to chewing on salty dehydrated cardboard. My daughter had the right idea. I barely touched mine, and scraped the remainder into the compost bin.

It wasn’t the best start to my week-long plant-based project. In the name of investigative journalism, I’d drafted in my carnivorous family to eat nothing but veges and fake meat for seven days. Right now, plant-based diets are being promoted everywhere – supermarkets shelves are stocked with products, some restaurants offer nothing but plant-based creations, and…